After thoughts...

... I had a date on Valentine's Day and it was great. Cj and I went to dinner and had some Thai Food (YUMMM...) and a bottle of red wine. I'm learning more and more about him everyday and I really like what I'm finding out. He's a good guy, very genuine and very much like me. Kinda scary to meet someone who's very much like me. It's like looking infront of the mirror. I opened up to him about my feelings and what I am going through right now and he responded in a positive way which made me happy. It really is very hard for me to open up to someone and just let everything lay out there in the open, but this year I promised myself to not be afraid anymore and just be as open to everybody and to everything as possible. Vulnerability for me is indeed very frightening and I have guarded myself in the past so I won't risk being burned. But in reality, nothing can really prevent someone from being burned, trust me I know because I have been burned before. And everytime it happens, I run away and escape someplace where no one knows me, but I am tired of running. I almost packed my stuff to move to San Francisco last February, but for some reason, I stopped myself and stayed in San Diego. I'm glad I didn't leave because I wouldn't have met Cj if I had pack-up and left!!! He told me the same thing...

... i guess things happen for a reason. I still feel lonely once in awhile, especially when I'm all alone and there's nothing to do. But I guess everyone gets that way once in awhile. I'm just really glad I have a few friends who are there to help me out and making sure I am ok. I think the hardest part is living with someone for the longest time (6 years) and then one day you wake-up and there's no one there right next to you. You're sleeping in a different room, on a different bed, with nothing but blankets and comforters to keep you warm at night... but wait, I'm supposed to be talking about Valentine's Day, hehehe... my ADD is acting up again, but anyhow, lol...

... Valentine's Day was great, it was chill, and yet I had fun. Valentine's is probably the least favorite among the holidays, and probably the least among the singles out there as well. Alot of my friends we're really wiggin' the fact that they don't have any dates nor boyfriends/girlfriends to go out with, and I just don't understand that. I'd be more worried about not having a date on New Year's Eve... lol... I am tired, have to hit the sack... and my mind is drawing blank...